Compelled to Act: The Shocking Truth

Remember that time when your dual smoke/carbon monoxide detector starts beeping a 5:43 AM to warn you about low battery power?

And that time, at 5:46 AM, when you finally can’t take the shrill, incessant screeching anymore and rummage for a 9V battery, in your sharps cutlery drawer in the dark?

And also, remember that time, around 5:47 AM, when, in your groggy state, you are compelled by some unknown force to lick the new 9V battery to make sure it actually has power?

Or that time at 5:55 AM, 3 years and six days from when you first wrote the above, that you had the exact same thing happen?

And all you could think about is – 3 years and 6 days: wow, it does keep going and going – while waiting for your tongue to stop tingling?

From licking the battery, not a knife.